Ok. I’m officially worried.
Worried because as of last Friday, the last painting – our art work was scattered amongst friends and family when we first left for London-NYC – is on the wall at our new place. And my track record demonstrates that when everything is finally in its right place, that’s when I start getting restless and deciding that I couldn’t possibly deal with STABILITY.
It doesn’t help that things haven’t been going as well as we expected. Singapore IS the capital of UNHAPPINESS. That’s one #1 that this place has chalked up too, without much effort. And its hard not to be brought down by all this negativity.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m not going anywhere just yet. I’ve still got my Grand Tour project to complete. And I’ve also started on Part II of the Grand Tour… without much planning for it. So I have something to do to keep my mind off other less satisfying aspects of life.
But is that enough?
It was odd to see these artworks again, after three years of having abandoned them to the winds. It brought me back to that point in time, three years ago, when I was in a place I can only describe as “emotionally resonant” – being too sensitive to everything, even the most trivial of things, and feeling like it was simply too much to handle.
It took three years of my travel therapy to get out of that state of mind. And so to feel like that again, however briefly, felt a bit like I was coming full circle after a long journey; like I was well… coming home, but not in a good way.
The jury’s still out though as to whether we’ll settle in fine here. I’d like to think that we will. After all, everything IS in its right place, which means we can finally start (re-)living our lives here.
But I think it’s gonna take real effort. Particularly since I’ve never been one to be content with simply standing still for too long. When one stands still, one hears the ticking of time so much more clearly; and that’s one sound I’ve never been comfortable with.
Wish me luck.